As most of you know he was more than that to me…He was my soul mate, my best friend, and my co-pilot. From the day I met him, we spoke about a lot of things. Goals and dreams. We spoke about our past, backgrounds, friends and family.

One thing that interested Ron the whole time we were together on this earth was how was I able to keep in touch with so many people that I’ve known for almost my whole life or at least half of it? Many have also built your own friendships with Ron over the years. Thank you for allowing him in your lives and loving him. Ron also loved kids. He loved all our friends with children who always asked for their “Uncle Ron”. He loved hearing that and watching them smile when they saw him.

It was then he told me that he wished that he could bring his relationship with family to the next level, and he especially didn’t want to miss out on important events of his nieces and nephews’ lives, something he felt that was missing from his own life. I told him that I would be there to support him all the way. He succeeded! He was there for graduations and birthday parties and looked forward to taking over hosting the holiday dinners. That brought him a lot of joy and happiness. He told me once that his heart was so full of love again. He said the best part of it all was to hear a child call him “Uncle Ron”. He said he really felt like a grown-up then and had a big responsibility to help them as much as he could so that they could grow up to become great responsible adults.

His last graduation celebration that he attended was for our dear friend Trinity’s daughter Samara. At the time, we did not know that it would be a little more than a month before he passed away. He was quite ill. However, he told me that he had to be present no matter how he felt. Even if it was only for an hour. It ended up being an awesome day spending time with Samara and family and our friends. He made it through most of the day. He wrote a note in her card but wanted to read it out loud to her at the party. His strength was worn out, and he started to feel ill. So we had to leave. He was very disappointed because he wanted to say “Love, your Uncle Ron” at the end of the speech. I told him it was ok and that she knows you love her very much.

Back in 2013, right after we came back from an extended trip which included an Alaskan cruise with his Dad, he told me that he was so happy he got an opportunity to take a trip with his Dad.  He said on that cruise, he realized that he is finally living the life he always wanted. After the trip he continued his relationship with his Dad by going with him to the movies, Fun Factory, and spending staycations at the Hilton just the four of us. Don’t get me wrong, he loved his Mom very much, too, especially fancy dinners at home and at restaurants. We used to go to the Naupaka Terrace at the `Ihilani for brunch and dinners a lot and to Roy’s Restaurant using the endless gift cards we had received. Ron even took a trip just with his Mom to Las Vegas and used his VIP status at the Green Valley Ranch Resort.  He was so proud to have that kind of status.

In February 2017, we were waiting in the doctor’s office after all the medical tests. Ron wanted to positively think about the future while sitting there. He apologized for putting me through a “scare” and envisioned the doctor entering the room with the results saying that all was good and Ron was good to go. We started planning our next trip. Our wishful thinking burst when the doctor actually walked in and gave Ron the cancer diagnosis. Ron was quiet on the ride home. All he said was that he was “Going to do whatever it takes to get rid of the cancer”. He realized the life he wanted was in full motion and “Nothing was going to get in the way of that”. I kept my promise that we would still celebrate family events.  And we did go on quite a few trips until COVID hit including watching his two nieces graduate from college at Cal Poly and the University of San Francisco.

So after five years of fighting cancer, Ron left on his birthday.  It was a very difficult day because of all the texts and telephone calls coming in to wish him a happy birthday. When he didn’t respond, I would get a text or a phone call. I did not answer a lot of them until later in the afternoon. From the first phone call or text, I had been calling everyone to tell them about the news. With everyone being in shock, I had to pull myself together and start apologizing to them about the news. I had to break it to them and then comfort everyone. I spent the day well into the late evening on the phone.

 A lot of people tell me I have a good memory, and I will remember every moment with Ron. What I’ll miss the most is that we shared everything when we would sit down and talk story at the end of the night. We never shared it with anyone else but I do know everything you told Ron. There were also times when he felt uncomfortable about something or something he just didn’t want to deal with. I told him to just put it on me. I later found out he sometimes went a little overboard with the excuses like “I’m going through menopause” or “I’m dealing with a childhood issue at 50?” Of course, that was a little extreme for comic relief, but it was all good.

People have told me nice things and done nice things but also some hurtful and insensitive things.  However, Ron and I always told each other forgive but never forget so that’s what I’m doing today. People say everyone grieves in their own way, but I never got to really grieve in my own way because I was worrying about how everyone else was doing. Like a friend always used to tell me “No worries”, my grief has a way to heal today.

With Ron’s passing, I never thought that it would also be a final curtain call with some family and friends. But again, I have nothing to apologize for and thanks for the time together.  I have absolutely no regrets. However, I’m glad I’m to be here with my family and friends who decided to continue to support me. Some are new, some have been in my life for over 40 years, and I thank you.

I do want to say thank you to my dear friends Mila, Dwayne, Angel, Christopher, Dale and Sherry for always reaching out to me often and just letting me talk about me and how I’m feeling about Ron whenever I needed to talk about him. I thank you and love you guys.  

Thank you to so many other people who supported me during Ron’s final days. A big thank you to Craig who kept bringing comfort food to the house and just being there to be a friend and visiting me at Acura and the texts to naked sure Io make sure I was ok.  I will never forget your kindness and I thank you for being there for me. Debbie too!

Family and friends who attended and helped me with Ron’s birthday celebration on the Saturday after he passed away. August 18, a day to still be celebrated for the incredible difference Ron made while he was here.

You know, I was planning a trip to Las Vegas last summer for Ron’s birthday. And Ron was planning a trip for my 50th birthday. And we both were planning something special somewhere for the both of us. So, we started a savings account. There wasn’t much saved but then our plans drastically changed. Although this is a celebration of life for Ron, I am celebrating the day for myself, too. I think I deserve that. Ron would agree. Three things we didn’t get to accomplish in 2021

 So, Before I finish, Ron’s wishes were to always come back home and be front and center where we gathered for all the special moments whether it was just the two of us or with friends and family. Hopefully, we can still continue to make more memories in our home with family and friends. You’re always welcome to visit him… it is still his home.

I will always love you Ron and I can’t wait for the way we can see each other again. Like you always told me… It’s just you and me forever.

Koji